Fear and Liberation - May 16th, 2018

5 Years ago, I started having a reoccuring dream. In the dream, my boyfriend at the time broke up with me but instead of being upset, I turned into a bird and flew away. .

After the third night with the same dream, I asked myself: "Do you feel trapped?" My whole body responded with a resounding YES. .

We had been together for four + years, friends for much longer, we had JUST bought a house together, we were about to get engaged...I was so worried that his parents would be so mad, MY parents would be so mad, I would lose my friends, I would disappoint everyone, and on and on and ON...

I was TERRIFIED. But how could I NOT know what I now KNEW? That I HAD to end the relationship. So, I did end it. And oh was it painful and messy and ugly and everything you would expect.

But I was also FREE. And I felt that freedom immediately. And not only was I free from a relationship that was unhealthy for me, but I was actually free from the FEAR of all of the judgment, anger, resentment, disappointment, etc. that surrounded making that decision. I wasn't free from the people in my life expressing those negative feelings towards me, but I was free from all the fear that made me feel trapped. For the first time in my life, I had my own back, and that alone was liberating.

Fear holds us back from doing so many things that are actually aligned with what we want and who we are suppose to be.